God's Generosity

Jesse and I had been talking about when we felt we may be ready for another baby. I figured September after Sammy was a year old. Well, July rolled around and Sammy was already walking and the end of Jesse's grad degree was in sight--basically family life was good. So we decided to cut a few corners with the NFP rules to see what would happen. I told Jesse based on the charting that we hade a 30% chance of conceiving, he laughed and said that it was either 0% or 100%.
Well, I still considered it a slim possibility so the first day when I realized that I might be pregnant I was talking to God and expressing some doubts and concerns, saying, "Are you sure about this?" And God in his eternal patience and love blasted me with an overwhelming sense of the incredible gift he had given our family, and also of my ingratitude.

This isn't to say that I don't still worry at times, but every time I wonder, "How can I do this?" God gently reminds me, "You can't, but I can." I am also reminded of the scripture: I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).

With every child He continues to teach our family about love and generosity. I remember when I first held Joshua thinking, "so this is what it's all about." Here was this 6 week early perfectly formed 3 lb 14oz baby. He brought to mind Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Then Maria's birth brought Jesse and I to tears of awe and joy. Before you were born I knew you, before you were born I set you apart (Jeremiah 1:5). Then again for a third time God blessed us with sweet Samuel from whom I could literally feel God's grace radiating. I became aware of the reality that only nine months earlier his body had been touched by the hands of God. Here I was, holding this beautiful baby so newly come from God. It really brought the Nativity to our living room.

In a way isn't every child similar to the Christ child? The night Christ was born shephards flocked to see Him. Perhaps people still flock to see newborns because we realize that by doing so we come in contact with the eternal and witness a visible sign of the triumphant power of love.

Praise be Jesus Christ both now and forever. My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my savior. For he has looked upon his handmaids lowliness; behold, from now on will all ages call me blesed. The Almighty has done great things for me and Holy is His name. His mercy is from age to age on those who fear Him...(Luke 1:46-50)